Well, hello friends! If you're still with me at this point, thank you for listening (or reading, I guess)!
Before we wrap up the trimesters, I wanted to share the intent behind sharing these experiences. I am in no way claiming to be an expert in pregnancy; I've only done it the one time. Part of me hopes that these stories will give you a giggle. Part of me hopes it makes someone say, "wow, I'm not the only crazy pregnant lady". And part of me just wants to put it out there to add to the stories about what to expect when you're pregnant. Pregnancy is a crazy experience. Prior to having my first child earlier this year, I never fully understood what went on in pregnancy. I had no desire to research it, mainly due to the fact that I knew how it ends. I was also terrified of stumbling across the plethora of horror stories that are out there. I also just refrained from asking because often times, people would only share their worst experiences.
Now, it is important to share all of the information, but I think we reach a point of just creating fear. Throughout my pregnancy there were times where I felt isolated and inferior. So many people told me "that's just how it goes" or better yet, "you think it's bad now? Just wait until the baby gets here". I realized that we have come to find this to be normal. We love to tell each other that it only gets worse, so enjoy what you have now. Why is that? I have some thoughts about it, but we'll save that for another day. I was blessed enough to have a handful of people who were there to talk me through the difficult times without trying to incite fear or ridicule me for expressing discomfort or fear. For them, I am eternally grateful.
Back to today. I hope that you get a giggle or maybe some comfort from reading this.
Without further ado, my experiences with the third trimester.
Goodbye, dear feet.
They'd been gone for weeks but now I'm pretty sure they actually detached themselves from my legs. I am not a girl who enjoys wearing shoes but let me tell you, I was not playing the shoes on, shoes off game. Once those suckers were on, they weren't coming off until I was done with shoes for the day. I allotted myself one session of shoe misery a day. Want to know a secret? My husband had to go do a work thing for three weeks at one point during this trimester. Up to that point, he helped me get my shoes on most mornings and would help me take them off when he came home. Well, when he was gone, there were a few nights I slept with my shoes on because I just couldn't get to them. Don't worry, my feet hung off the bed - I'm not an animal!
With this phase came the most frustrating part of pregnancy for me. Everyone wanted to do everything for me and would constantly insist I sit down. I remember walking into my friend's office at school during my planning period and everyone who was sitting in there stood up and insisted I take their chair. It was so kind of them but it irked me to my core. Normally, when this situation arose, I just sat on the floor and did my lesson planning or grading. Now that I was "hella" pregnant, this seemed to drive people crazy. Which drove me crazy.
My students, God bless them, always jumped to get the class phone when it rang, pick up something I dropped, or open a door any time I walked near one. Everyone was so worried about me straining myself or the baby. It really was so sweet of them but all I could think about was how annoying it was. I wanted to function like my normal self. The one who reorganized the classroom a million times without anyone blinking an eye or who walked all over the school trying to get things done for a million different reasons. It was my thing. Now, any time I walked down the stairs people begged me to take the elevator.
Looking back and in the moment, I know how much they care for me and how much they were trying to help. I also remember complaining about these wonderful gestures relentlessly to my husband and dogs when I would get home!
Hello hormones 2.0.
Oh my goodness, ya'll. I did not think the hormones could get much worse. Some women are lucky and they start to mellow out during this trimester. I was not one of them. I was exhausted from the continuous Braxton-Hicks, I was always worried I was doing something wrong, and I was being an absolute baby about the constant back pain. I had never experienced back pain in my life and suddenly it was my life, 24/7. (Now when my husband comes home complaining about back pain, I just want to wrap the man in a blanket and rub his back -- it's terrible!)
I found myself crying over everything. Tell a funny joke? I'm tearing up. One of my students was accepted into her dream school? I'm crying. My husband shows me a video of a raccoon trying to rinse off a piece of cotton candy before eating it only to have the cotton candy dissolve because, duh? I'm sobbing.
In hindsight, this was one of my main struggles in pregnancy. I knew my reactions to things were hormonal. I knew that I was not responding in a logical manner, however, that did not stop these feelings! I would sit on our bed crying, my husband would tell me everything was okay and in between sobs I would say "I know, but I can't stop crying". Nothing felt wrong and here I was, crying my eyes out. Luckily, he learned to wear dry-fit shirts whenever we would hang out and tried to limit my interactions with things that made me cry by not sending me videos of animals anymore.
Nesting is real
When I first heard about nesting, I thought it was funny. In the spirit of honesty, it sounded more like something that would happen if you waited until the last minute to set up the nursery and gather all of baby's things. Since I had set up the nursery by month six, I would obviously skip this phase, right?
I've never been more wrong.
One day, I woke up and simply had to redo our entire house. I rearranged furniture, pictures, drawers, cabinets, heck...I alphabetized our bookshelf by author's last name. I tried to also organize by genre but quickly became frustrated that there was not an equal number of each. Why, you ask? Because obviously, a disorganized bookshelf would mean the house was not prepared for our daughter's birth. No, I'm serious, that's how intense of a feeling this was.
I washed all of our clothes with several sensitive skin detergents to find the one that would be best. I alphabetized the spice drawer. I sorted our closet by color and season. All of these, things I had never done before.
I had an indescribable urge to make everything perfect for our girl's arrival. While I had the urge, though, I lacked the energy to do these tasks as quickly as I had pre-pregnancy, which led to many frustrating days.
What's your point?
The third trimester was my favorite time. I was so close to meeting our daughter and I began feeling like a mama. I won't lie, it was very difficult at times, particularly once the Braxton-Hicks kicked in and just kept coming. overall, though, it was the period of time where I saw the most growth in myself and my husband. We were about to be parents and while we knew that, it really hit us.
I became closer to the Lord during my pregnancy than I ever had. I reached a point of having casual conversations during my Bible time. I sat and constantly just asked Him what the thought process was behind this. You heard me. I asked God why He made pregnancy the way it is. Many times. Sometimes out of curiosity, others out of exhaustion. I then recounted these conversations to my husband who just chuckled.
There are so many more experiences I had during my trimester, but those are unique to my pregnancy. Maybe you've experienced them, maybe you haven't and they would just scare you. The main point of this post is this: you've been growing a human being. You are allowed to be "crazy". You do you, mama. Just remember to fall back on your village. Whether that is your birth partner, a family member, best friend, I don't care!
Have you experienced your third trimester yet? What were your experiences? I would love to hear and celebrate your story in the comments below!
Until next time, friends!
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